Be open, be positive for good communication

Over the years I’ve participated in several closed door meetings, one-to-one meetings and a couple of family meetings. Sadly, many of those meetings ended in unpleasant shouting matches, with people either being intimidated or abandoning the meeting abruptly, in disgust. I’ve also noted the dreadful consequences of miscommunication. This is such a serious issue that it can lead to one’s unpopularity in an organization and eventually one’s downfall. I dare say, miscommunication can also lead to commercial losses and to companies going bankrupt. To find out what good communication is all about, I read articles online, referred to a few management books then reconstructed what went on in those meetings and inferred why some failed. Here’s a culmination of my research and thoughts.

What is Communication?

Communication is a free exchange of ideas and thoughts between two people. It’s usually about two people having an interactive conversation. Communication is usually one-to-one but it can also be one-to-many (as in someone addressing an audience).

For good and purposeful communication…

Common medium for communication
Parties engaged in the communication must understand each other clearly. They should communicate in a language understood by all, and it is usually the English language, which is regarded as the universal language for business communications. That’s one reason for thanking the British colonist who sailed around the world and set up colonies in different countries, India included. Engage the services of a professional interpreter if some parties don’t know English.

Speak using direct and clear sentences
Leave little room for assumption or ambiguity. The context of speech must be clearly understood. Phrases can have double-meanings and can be interpreted differently by different people. Heard about Chinese Whispers?

Leave emotions by the door
An over-emotional person does not communicate. Angry people do not communicate. S/he vents her/his insecurity or frustration. You can’t communicate with an unruly or arrogant person. Either count to ten and wait for that person to settle down or walk away. Of course, if someone breaks down and cries, you could offer words of comfort or a shoulder to cry on.

Communicating and Talking are different
When we talk mindlessly (blabbering) we just convey our thoughts, our feelings. So talking tends to be more emotional, more opinionated. It tends to become irrelevant after some time. Talking is about feelings and expectations not about facts and relevant information.
When we communicate we focus on the idea on hand. We choose our words and facts carefully to drive home the point.

A few tips for good and beneficial communication

1. Keep emotions at bay.
Don’t react if the other person gets emotional. Wait for him/her to stabilize and come back to listening mode—then communicate. Don’t react in an emotional or egotistical manner.

 

2. It’s OK to NOT have all the answers.

If you don’t know, don’t pretend to know. Sometimes it’s OK to NOT know.

You could say something like:

“I don’t know, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I have all the answers and facts.”

“I need to verify a few facts and I’ll give you an answer very soon.”

 

3. Respond by showing concern, expressing facts.
Don’t express feelings by saying something like, “Hey! I’m only doing my job.” Instead, say something like:

“I understand the way you feel or the situation you are in. Here’s what I would do if I were in your place.”

“We experienced something like this in the past and these were the alternatives…here’s what we did…”

 

4. Be a good listener.
People want to be heard, not to be told incessantly. Show that you are listening by repeating what the other person just said, by paraphrasing or summarizing.

You could say things like:

“If I understood you correctly you are saying that…. and we need to do this…” “I am interested in knowing a little bit more about your concern or belief.”

 

And listen carefully! We cling strongly to personal beliefs, prejudices and assumptions which act as personal filters. So we hear and register only what we want to. Keep an attentive ear and an open, accepting mind.

 

5. Start with common ground.

There should be some common ground on which both parties are agreeable to. Start the conversation by discussing common beliefs. Avoid discussing irreconcilable differences at the outset.

 

6. Keep it positive.

Avoid negativity even in a negative situation. My former company MD excelled at this. Speak about the other person’s achievements and qualities. Speak about the pros of the situation.

You could say something like:

“Perhaps it happened for the best.”

“If this incident did not happen we would never have got down to solving the problem.”

 

7. Ask questions.

Ask good, intelligent questions that provoke others to think. Questions that can make a difference and help evoke answers to solve the problem. Clear your mind of distractions and do focus.

 

8. Be courteous and apologetic

Acknowledge, thank, appreciate, apologize. And be genuine about it.
You could say things like:

“I apologize for disturbing you at this hour, but I think you will find this important just as I do, and it’s best that you know about it immediately.”

“I appreciate your coming on short notice.”

“I find your research useful. This is a great effort on your part.”

 

 

Contact management

If you’ve been serving in an industry for many years, you’ve probably collected many business cards. You email address book may be quite populated and your cell phone number list must be long. What you have is priceless. In fact your extensive range of contacts from the industry may be one of the reasons why employers want you.

Of course, people move on and change jobs. So it is important to keep in touch and update those contacts from time to time. Attend industry events, forums, meetings and collect contacts. Keep in touch with people. A simple message to say ‘it was a pleasure to meet you yesterday’ will go a long way.

The next important thing to do is to back up those contacts, especially if these are in electronic form. You can backup your phone contacts to an online service. Backing up contacts from your email client is not that straightforward. First you need to export the contacts to a CSV (comma separated value) file. Then use a Web mail service (such as Yahoo or Hotmail) to import the contacts from the CSV file. If you don’t succeed, simply mail the CSV file to yourself (on the Webmail service) as an attachment.

You may not realize this, but your business contacts are crown jewels. Be sure to back these up so that you have access to these at all times, even if you travel or change jobs.
———–
–Brian P, 23 Jan 2009

Coping with the recession-II

Times are tough. Just the other day 15 colleagues in marketing and sales were asked to go. Tomorrow it could be someone from my team, perhaps me.  Well, we all saw this coming, not now but a few months ago when America was hit and jobs were lost. Back then I reckoned that it was only a matter of time before this happens here in India. Now it has.
Already, worried colleagues are approaching me for advice and are asking how I am coping with this negative situation. Here is some advice for those who need it:
1. Stop worrying. You can’t stop the recession or convince HR not to fire you. But you can prove that you are really useful at the workplace, and that things won’t be the same after you’ve left.  Try to take on more tasks. Look at these extra tasks as opportunities to learn something new. Not as an extra burden.
2. Start saving. You need to have at least six – eight months operating monthly income in the bank (that includes all your monthly expenses and EMIs).
3. Plan for the recession. What will you do if you find yourself without a job? Start using Social Networking sites like Linkedin.com and Facebook.com (among others). Keep in touch with old friends and colleagues and let them know that you are looking out.
4. Do stuff. If you do not have much debt and have sufficient cash in hand for 6 – 8 months, then the recession is not so bad. Use this time to do all the things you wanted to do. Visit a hill station, read that book, visit your relatives, write a book, do some skill development courses, update your blog, set up a website, learn a language – do whatever you are passionate about.
Every down has an up and the recession will pass. When? I cannot say. But I advise you to plan for the next 12 months. And don’t take it so badly if you lose your job. It’s your destiny. Accept it and move on.
–Brian Pereira 23/12/2008

Coping with the recession

I would like to share with you something from CHIP Magazine. The credit for this goes to Monali Gaikwad, Feature Writer at CHIP Magazine.

———————————————————————

With companies laying off employees and filing for bankruptcy, the global recession has taken a toll on the careers of many people. Everyone is living with the eternal fear of loosing their job and worried about the future. To get some career advice and tips on professional development log on to http://careerbright.blogspot.com. This blog is written by Shweta Khare, who is a well-known Career Expert (Certified Career Coach) based in Silicon Valley, California. It contains information about the latest trends in recruiting and today’s hot careers.

Careerbright has tips on how to improve your productivity at work, deal with a difficult boss and many other articles to enhance your skill sets. It has some excellent advice for freshers and for people planning for a career change to make the right career decision.

All the articles here are very interesting and will give you a fresh perspective of your career! Careerbright is like your own personal career counsellor, guiding you right from creating an impressive resume, to cracking an interview, negotiating the salary, and excelling at your new job. Considering this blog is written by a woman, there is a section dedicated to tips for working women and moms as well. It also has a forum to ask and discuss all your career related apprehensions. So do read this blog and have a Satisfying Career – Happier Life with all the tips offered on the blog.

Increase your equity at work

“No one is indispensable here!” screamed a former boss in a fit of rage.

That one statement got me thinking. If, on a whim, I could be replaced by another, then what must I do to prevent that from happening?

That was the year 2000. I realized what I had to do a few years later. It’s quite simple, really.

Heard about “Brand Equity?” Companies pay millions of dollars to be associated with brands like Coke, Apple, and Nike. Of course, it takes decades (and millions of dollars in advertising) to build a brand. Well, you have to build your brand too. Work hard at it. Develop new skills and gain additional knowledge. You need to have the cutting edge at work. What is it that differentiates you from the dozen or so people that can potentially replace you?

Your boss (and your organization) must feel that you are a valuable asset. Yes, people can be replaced. But with YOU gone, things won’t be the same unless they find someone who is equally qualified or more qualified than you. And will that person work for the same salary? Perhaps he/she may demand a lot more.

You boss/HR/organization knows this. They know how diffcult it is to find a suitable replacement. They know how long it takes, and how business will suffer after you exit. That’s why they offer you stock options, a company car, your own cabin, and other fancy perks. When you have all this, you know you are a valuable employee.

So work hard and develop the cutting edge. You have to differentiate yourself from the crowd.

–Brian Pereira

What is Career Life?

Hello world!

This is my first post on the WordPress blog, so an introduction is in order. Who am I? What’s the theme of Career Life? I’ll attempt to explain this as briefly as I can.
I’m a writer, journalist (though not the newspaper or TV kind) from Mumbai/Bombay in India. I am married/male/41 years and live with my wife and daughter in a suburb named Borivali (West). Presently I work for a company called Infomedia India.
After my graduation and a short diploma course in computer software, I set out to work in 1990. Beginning as a computer instructor, and then moving on to journalism four years later, I have indeed come a long way.
My skills and knowledge were developed on the job, through my own efforts—not in some academy.
Over the years I have learnt a lot about self -development, skills development, and the nasty subject of Office Politics.
And this is what I want to share with you through this blog. So if you are just starting out in your career, you can pick up some tips on the highs and lows of Career Life.
Cheers!
Brian Pereira

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!